A Vote For Obama is a Vote For Civility

Full post (here).

Hi undecided voters! Yes, we know what you're probably thinking: "hey, it's those two smirking hipster assholes in the 'Sarah Palin Is a C---' t shirts." We also realize that you probably find our brand of narcissistic street theater loathsome and tedious. In fact, we're pretty sure that after eight years of putting up with our shit, you're just about fed up with the screeching tantrums, and inane Bush-is-Hitler art installations, and incessant firehose of profane hate-vomit. Who wouldn't? No rational human being could be blamed for wanting us to just shut the fuck up, finish our bottled water, and go away. Luckily, there's an easy way you can make that happen: vote for Barack Obama.

Think about it. With Barack Obama in office, assholes like us will fade into a distant unpleasant memory. Don't get us wrong, we'll still be hanging around, probably as junior staffers in some federal arts agency. But you have our word on it -- we'll be practically invisible. No more C-word t shirts, no more intersection blockades, no more vandalism until the next election cycle. Nosirree, we'll be timid and well-behaved and quiet as church mice, working away on grant proposals. We think you will also be pleased to know that under Obama, negative news stories and the steady flow of shitty anti-American war movies will virtually disappear overnight.