Afghanistan Update from Lt. Mark

This came to me via e-mail. Lt. Mark is a friend of my brother-in law.

Friends and Family,

Though we haven’t done anything really exciting yet, I wanted to give those of you who are interested an idea of how things are going for 2/7. So, this is basically an update about why you don’t need an update from me yet. The battalion is spending its days in Kandahar as we prepare to begin the mission we were sent here to accomplish. The base here is a large, NATO base that plays host to the militaries (used loosely) of some 43 countries. This is a new experience for all of us and it has been very interesting to see how some of the other militaries conduct business. As far as the base is concerned, apparently US Marines are not the most popular folks stationed here. I know, I had a hard time believing it, too. I know what you’re thinking; these people clearly don’t base popularity on combat efficiency. Clearly. At any rate, our involvement in this conflict makes us all proud members of the International Security Assistance Force (ISAF), which, as you may have guessed from the lame title, is not a very impressive organization. The Marines have re-designated ISAF (pronounced eye-saf) as “I Suck At Fighting” and “I Saw Americans Fight.” Both of which can accurately be applied to the majority of the other countries whose involvement in this circus puts a multi-national face on the organization. That said, the British are pretty good. You should take comfort knowing that the men and women you sent over here are taking this whole counterinsurgency thing pretty seriously. (With a few exceptions, most of whom can be found lurking around the music room looking like criminals on karaoke night, hip hop night, salsa night, and during whatever other kinds of bullshit events they hold over on the other side of the camp. It’s what we call a “shit show” and I’m embarrassed to admit there are Marines over there at all). For most of the other countries, their military involvement here is indistinguishable from a civilian corporation that opened a branch in a foreign country. I think they probably do some kind of work, but setting up hockey rinks and volley ball courts down at the boardwalk (an actual place) is definitely the focus of effort. Many of the other nations are even more focused on personal amenities and comfort based resource allocation than the United States Air Force, if you can imagine that. I couldn’t before seeing it in person.

While there hasn’t been much going on here for the battalion, Toby Keith came to Kandahar to sing as part of a USO sponsored “support the troops” effort. (And no, Steph, I know what you’re thinking, but supporting the troops does not involve bringing them home. No, really, it doesn’t. Nice try). Anyway, I couldn’t name a Toby Keith song if you spotted me half the title, so I did not attend. But, for the first time since the USO began sending people to entertain the troops in the 1940s, an infantry unit actually got to see the performance. That is, until the “rocket attack” siren went off and everyone had to leave. This sounds far more sensational than it really was and I can assure you we weren’t in any danger. Though, much like in Camp Fallujah, I have seen several exaggerated accounts of this traumatic event that were no doubt written in an effort to make the author sound like he has a cooler job than he actually does, all while unnecessarily frightening his friends and family back home. Ridiculous. The two other XOs and I were joking that having an enemy mortar team adjust their rounds onto the house you’re occupying is a relatively terrifying event; hearing a siren and a muffled voice over a barely functional loudspeaker in the distance and asking your buddy, “Dude, is that the one for mortars?” is really not. Anyway, I thought the relative safety of this base was worth mentioning because I know some people on the list (my Mom) are inclined to overreact to news stories about rocket attacks on the places I live. You know Moms.

That’s really all I have for now. I will have more interesting things to report in the coming months as we begin conducting combat operations in zone, which really can’t come soon enough. Until then, take care and send updates.

Always Faithful,

Mark